what's in your head...

I sometimes marvel at the way I am able to sing on stage while half-asleep. There comes a certain point of the night when even the second wind has faded away and my brain pretty much decides it is no longer going to cooperate with me unless I lay down and get some rest. My body must have some secret storage space somewhere where lyrics to songs are filed away, so when my brain gives up for the night, my mouth is still able to produce the information needed to get through the set. The fact that I can do this is why it bothers me so much when I forget the words to anything. I have a ridiculous memory that stretches over years and I hate when I just randomly lose the words to "Misery Business" and stand there staring blankly at everyone in horror. The same thing happened to me on stage during 'Godspell', when I had to manuever my way through the end of my monologue and pray to God that Sue would come in with the song without hearing my exact cueline.

I miss Stagers.

I am very excited about this upcoming weekend. I have a great birthday celebration to attend Saturday night and then we head to the bright lights of Bloomsburg Sunday morning. I anticipate having to go to 8am Mass, after getting home around 3am or so. So I hope Bara and Dan have a lot to talk about for those three hours. I don't think I'll be contributing very much.

I have attended Mass without fail since Easter Sunday. At the power hour at Lou's, I swore that I would not miss it for any reason that I could control and I am very proud of myself for sticking by my, albeit drunken, word. This means, however, that I have to go to Mass this Thursday night, since Ascension Thursday is a Holy Day of Obligation. I wonder how many people actually go to Mass on those days. Although, my mother will probably be singing. I'm sure I can just sit near her.

I'm sorry that this blog sometimes becomes stream of consciousness.

money, that's what i want

Wow, I just had a mini-money panic attack. I went to order the Disney plane tickets and realized I do not have enough money on either of my credit cards right now to cover the cost. I get paid Friday, so it shouldn't be an issue then, but sometimes, when I actually come face to face with how much money I owe, it knocks me for a loop. I really can't fathom how I will ever pay it all off. I wish I could go back in time to the moment I signed up for my second credit card and punch myself in the face. Better yet, I'd have Chuck Norris punch me in the face. Why did I think I could transfer half of it to the second card and then cease to use the first one? What ever made me think I'd have the willpower to pull that off?

Ugh... I know everyone owes money but some people just make so much more and then talk about it and they're really nice and not trying to make me feel badly AT ALL but I seriously take a look at my salary and I am just barely living. Then, I think about other people who are actually just barely living, and I thank God that I still have a job and I can pay my bills.

Okay... it's not that bad... I just had to get that out.

if you could read my mind...

I just heard a commercial on the radio for some psychic that ended with, "Remember, if your reading is not the best you've ever had, it's free!" I think that's a poor choice of words. Maybe, "if your reading is not the most accurate you've ever had." Because if the psychic told me that my entire family was going to die in a fiery car crash, it might be spot on, but I don't know that I'd call it the best.

drink up me hearties, yo ho!

The one remaining Somali pirate is being brought into court today. The news had video of him being escorted by police and made a big deal of how he had a huge smile on his face. What did they expect? He's a fucking pirate! Can you imagine a pirate walking to his doom with his head down? No, he has to look like a cocky badass right til the end. That smile actually made me respect him a little bit more. Especially since he didn't tamper with the Chinese sneakers.

it's my life

My grandmother is back in an assisted living facility/hospital sort of place. Not the one I visited and described some entries back, that made me want to kill myself. My mother says this place is actually nice. So I'm hoping she'll get better enough to leave and live on her own again eventually. I don't like to think she'll be spending the rest of her life in a place like that, although I guess it could certainly be worse. At least she'd be with people 24/7 who could take care of her and all. It's so depressing. I don't plan on getting old. I'm just going to eventually be older but never change the way I look or act or feel. Hope that's all right with everyone.

95.5 is SUCH a better station to listen to at work all day than 92.3 NOW. Seriously, I could not go another day hearing "Poker Face" seventeen times. That station was making me loathe songs I actually liked.

I got cookies from one of my bosses this morning for Adminsitrative Professionals Week. I really enjoy the fact that this "holiday" went from Secretaries Day to what it is now. I don't think very many other jobs have an entire week of celebration. I guess someone somewhere realized that if all the Administrative workers went on strike one day, the world would shut down. When some people get to a certain level of management, they shut down portions of their brain, never to be used again. You'd just have 10 million CEOs staring blankly at a copy machine for hours on end.

ma-a-a-a-a-a-ps

Sitting at my new desk. This is the beginning of the third week here, I believe, and it really hasn't been as bad as I anticipated. I kind of like being in the thick of things. I hear a lot more gossip and am able to more readily share my own. So I would say on the whole, this has been a positive move.

I had an okay holiday this weekend with my family. My grandmother was here from New Jersey. She was recently on this medication that gave her tremors and, because of this, her right arm was basically shaking the entire weekend. And not slightly, but to the point where her caretaker who drove her to our house made the joke that she should get a part-time job as a fluffer. Totally innappropriate but, because it was my family, hilarious. Anyway, between being depressed in general and all this shaking, her nerves are just totally shot and all she does is complain about everything. I know I should have some sympathy for her, because she is my grandmother and all, but after a while, I really couldn't take it. On the drive over, it would go something like this:

"It's cold in this car."
"I don't want to wear this seatbelt." (So take it off) "No, I can't, you'll get a ticket."
"Do we really have to sit in all this traffic?"
"Donna, you're talking too much."
"It's hot in this car."
"I can't sit here anymore."

It got to the point where I just consciously never want to complain about anything again, just to keep from sounding like that.

Also, it terrifies me that I will be a terrible mother, because I have absolutely no patience for things like that. I mean, I didn't yell at her or anything, but I really really wanted to.

i just wanna scream, hello...

One of my good friends at work got laid off yesterday. This is a guy I literally have lunch with every day, except Fridays. It's really shitty that this had to happen, especially to such a nice person and a hard worker. I can't think of anyone in my group who really deserves to be laid off, but I think he especially didn't. So now, I am glum. Also, I have to move my desk, away from where I have a modicum of privacy- and am right next to all my files- over into the cubicles with everyone else. I used to sit with everyone in the old office, so it's not like I won't get used to it, but I sort of like being slightly separated from everyone, and having a much larger desk. I mean, I'm everyone's admin, so I should be accessible to everyone. Ah, well... bitching isn't going to get me anywhere, especially to people who have absolutely no control over the situation.

I am looking forward to tomorrow morning (afternoon?) for the League Tuffendale baseball draft, and tomorrow night, for Maloney's and Vinny being home again, but I am dreading the in-between time, when I have to go to the Time Warner Cable office and drop off my old cable box and modem. The last time I was there, to switch out my original box for a DVR, it was a Monday afternoon (I had called out sick from work) and it was PACKED. So I am really not looking forward to going alone on a Saturday afternoon. I might try to guilt my father into going with me. The cable box is awfully heavy...

Other than that, I don't have much else to report. Last weekend was a fun drunken time (blowing .24 on the breathalyzer at BJ's might be my personal best, and I am even more proud after watching Castle last night, and hearing that someone at .28 is near unconscious) and the rest of this week hasn't offered up any gems. But, like I said, I am looking forward to tomorrow. I hope TWC doesn't sour my mood.

EDIT: I asked my dad to go with me tomorrow and he said to just drop off the box and modem with a blank check and he will bring it for me on Monday. Soooo spoiled. Between my father doing everything for me and my brother having dinner on the table every night when I get home from work, I am never going to find a man to measure up. If I wasn't allergic, I'd be gathering cats right now.