said, hey pretty baby will you marry me?

Disney World was amazing. On one hand, I couldn't go on all the rides I wanted to in Disney and Universal. On the other hand, two other things happened that kind of trumped all that and made this a pretty good contender for Best Vacation I Will Ever Have. (I'll wait until after my honeymoon to make that final call.)

Dan and I are officially engaged. Like, ring on my finger engaged. It's pretty incredible and he totally surprised me with it. I mean, we'd had plans to get married, so I wasn't sure whether or not I'd even be getting a ring, but he planned it very romantically and got down on one knee next to the Wishing Well at the foot of Cinderella's castle. (I swear there used to be a tunnel of love underneath the castle but Google is revealing nothing, so I guess I'm just crazy.) There are pictures and even a video, so it's definitely a moment I'll never forget, not that I ever would.

Now we just have to figure out when we want to get married. I was thinking maybe Fall 2010 but, although it is over a year away, I feel like we are going to be very occupied with the new addition and a wedding takes way more planning than I feel like I am ready to commit to right now. So we could do Spring 2011. I don't know when it'll be easier to do things though: when I'm pregnant or when I have an infant? At least someone else can watch the infant for us... hmm, this requires further thought.

Anyway, yay! I'm engaged to Dan!


PS - I forgot to mention the second good thing that happened. I came in second in the finals for the American Idol Experience. More on that in a later post.

fly me to the moon...

We're leaving for Disney World Saturday morning. I am more than a little excited. Now that all the moving is done (not the unpacking, but whatever), I have been more able to focus on the trip. And also, on the germs that will be parading around the airport and the plane (and probably the theme park but I think the excess happiness of the place cancels them out). I have been seriously considering wearing one of those surgical masks on the plane. I mean, I understand I will probably look like a paranoid crazy person but I am so afraid of getting swine flu that I might not care about looking like a loon for two and a half hours in front of five of my friends and some other people I will most likely never see again.

Also, my sinuses have been so bad that I am expecting them to just explode out of my head at a certain altitude.

I am really excited but I very much just want to be in Florida. I hate flying.

having my baby...

I am having a baby.

Phew... it feels good to finally get that out on here. I've been refraining from actually releasing the words to the Internet, since there were still some people I was waiting to tell in person. But now, it looks like the cat is out of the bag, so I am clear to discuss my own personal life on my own personal blog. Freeing.

As I mentioned vaguely in the previous post, I would never in a million years have expected my life to go in the direction that it has. That's not to say I'm not happy about it. I mean, everyone wants to find someone they love, get married and have a baby. So, eventually, all that stuff is going to be done and in years to come, no one will remember or care about the order in which it occurred.

I'm very happy with the decisions I've made, especially in light of information I have recently received from some people about some people. Suffice it to say, my life is still running smoothly, and although I understand it will be forever changed on or around Feb. 2, I don't expect it will change who I am as a person. At least, I don't plan on letting it.

Now everyone else (married people)... start catching up.

i will buy you a new life

Okay, so since my last blog post, my life has pretty much changed as much as it's possible for a person's life to change... okay, maybe not that much but I'd say that 80% of the big things that were true about me back in April are not true anymore. If you'd told me a mere 3 months ago where I would be right now, I probably would have had you locked away in a mental institution. Because seriously... Dan and I are just friends.

Well, I'm not going to get into everything on here, since there are still some people who may be reading who aren't caught up on all facets of my life changes as of yet, but I will say that I think I am monumentally more prepared for it than I ever would have thought I could be. Sometimes, when I think about it all, I get very scared and emotional and even angry (although not very much anymore), but then I remember that I have pretty much the best support system anyone could have and it could be so much worse and... honestly, not much better, if you think about it. Sure, things are happening slightly out of order but I think the bigger picture is that they're happening and that's what counts. So... it's all good. It's all going to be fine. Deep breaths.

what's in your head...

I sometimes marvel at the way I am able to sing on stage while half-asleep. There comes a certain point of the night when even the second wind has faded away and my brain pretty much decides it is no longer going to cooperate with me unless I lay down and get some rest. My body must have some secret storage space somewhere where lyrics to songs are filed away, so when my brain gives up for the night, my mouth is still able to produce the information needed to get through the set. The fact that I can do this is why it bothers me so much when I forget the words to anything. I have a ridiculous memory that stretches over years and I hate when I just randomly lose the words to "Misery Business" and stand there staring blankly at everyone in horror. The same thing happened to me on stage during 'Godspell', when I had to manuever my way through the end of my monologue and pray to God that Sue would come in with the song without hearing my exact cueline.

I miss Stagers.

I am very excited about this upcoming weekend. I have a great birthday celebration to attend Saturday night and then we head to the bright lights of Bloomsburg Sunday morning. I anticipate having to go to 8am Mass, after getting home around 3am or so. So I hope Bara and Dan have a lot to talk about for those three hours. I don't think I'll be contributing very much.

I have attended Mass without fail since Easter Sunday. At the power hour at Lou's, I swore that I would not miss it for any reason that I could control and I am very proud of myself for sticking by my, albeit drunken, word. This means, however, that I have to go to Mass this Thursday night, since Ascension Thursday is a Holy Day of Obligation. I wonder how many people actually go to Mass on those days. Although, my mother will probably be singing. I'm sure I can just sit near her.

I'm sorry that this blog sometimes becomes stream of consciousness.

money, that's what i want

Wow, I just had a mini-money panic attack. I went to order the Disney plane tickets and realized I do not have enough money on either of my credit cards right now to cover the cost. I get paid Friday, so it shouldn't be an issue then, but sometimes, when I actually come face to face with how much money I owe, it knocks me for a loop. I really can't fathom how I will ever pay it all off. I wish I could go back in time to the moment I signed up for my second credit card and punch myself in the face. Better yet, I'd have Chuck Norris punch me in the face. Why did I think I could transfer half of it to the second card and then cease to use the first one? What ever made me think I'd have the willpower to pull that off?

Ugh... I know everyone owes money but some people just make so much more and then talk about it and they're really nice and not trying to make me feel badly AT ALL but I seriously take a look at my salary and I am just barely living. Then, I think about other people who are actually just barely living, and I thank God that I still have a job and I can pay my bills.

Okay... it's not that bad... I just had to get that out.

if you could read my mind...

I just heard a commercial on the radio for some psychic that ended with, "Remember, if your reading is not the best you've ever had, it's free!" I think that's a poor choice of words. Maybe, "if your reading is not the most accurate you've ever had." Because if the psychic told me that my entire family was going to die in a fiery car crash, it might be spot on, but I don't know that I'd call it the best.